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Monday, April 9, 2012

It's another Day and I am blessed

I am blessed despite the things I face !!!!




At my request DH skipped the PIO shots on Friday and Saturday, I know I am a bad girl but since there are no findings on the Ultrasound and my butt is sore I needed a break. Yesterday he did it and gave me a higher dose to make up for the lost times.

Sympthoms: CRUEL as they are some still linger. Like food aversion, boobs hurt everytime I gave someone a hug saturday OUCH..., queasy after eating something I probably shouldn't but no throw up.

This was quite the weekend, my 21 year old cousin is 9 months PREGNANT
(unplanned and unwanted at first) so I threw her a get together baby shower at my mom's house. This was SUPER HARD at first ( I cried in the aisle at Walmart getting baby stuff in DH's collar), I think I avoided her stomach like the plague or looking directly at her, BUT overall I had a great time. I got to play with my 14 month old God daughter, be around family, friends and realize just how incredibly blessed I am. This will take time and I realize that my heart will hurt for a while but it will be strengthened and then I can move on from here. DH agreed that we can still try another MINI IVF when financially we have saved but that wasn't my excitement he said we can then adopt a child as well. YAY. I have been trying to get DH on board to adopting for a long time, and while it is a long process with the state I wanted to do it with or without having a child of my own. I havent spoken to him about it but I think I might temporarily opt to move to a state where IVF is mandated in the insurance and then move back once the deed is done. There have been a few people that have done this including a couple I suspect as well but no proof. CT is definitely a state mandated and I know someone there we are not exceptionally close but I also have other friends I can also hang out with if necessary, since all this is a secret no one will know why the sudden move right? We shall see DH will probably NOT agree. I prefer going to a mandated state so we are not lost in debt

Honestly I am still NOT in a place to try again, but in time I am sure I will be. In the meantime, I cannot wait to shed this weight I gained and to get more conclusive answers on whats happening, what the heck is going on inside me? What do I do next? Am I facing surgery which is scary?

There are some miracle postings of people NOT seeing there baby until 8 weeks along, but with the improved technology of today that is almost unlikely in my case but hey anything is possible. I will not give myself false hope, I have FAITH in my God and trust whatever the situation and its outcome. I will know more tommorrow and from there I will know what to do but it's another day and I feel blessed..

2 comments:

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