HE PROPOSED.........................I FEEL SO BLESSED

ARE YOU CONFUSED BY THE TITLE? I BET SINCE I HAVE ALREADY BEEN REFERRING TO HIM AS DH-Dear Heart and not Dear Husband.....

On 12/13/2011 just before bedtime he surprised me, he proposed to me...I am too excited to add more, too excited to worry about FET, its perfect, so I wont obsess about the ET, I will be thinking of wedding bells. LOL

A HOP, SKIP, AND JUMP ITS THE MIDDLE OF DECEMBER....ALMOST

It's only a HOP, SKIP and a JUMP and the middle of DECEMBER FAST APPROACHES......

So I have been posting only weekly since I am not cycling just yet, when I am back doing that around the end of this month then I will post updates, issues, etc.

Currently though I feel so good, so relaxed and enjoying my time with family, friend, and everyone in between. IF is a lonely journey when you are doing it alone, we opted to do it this way to protect our hearts in the event we need to and also not to hear judgmental comments from close friends. We know they will be probably well meant but this is just so personal for us that we wanted to do it this way.

I have shared it with only my bestie that lives out of town and she can relate as she will be going down this ruote as soon as she medically can. I use this BLOG more as a journal, so that if someone else come across its contents they can either relate or know what they may go through while waiting for sFET.

"ME":Ok so I havent lost anymore than the 5 pounds, I havent checked but I dont think I have...I have been shopping which is bad but I enjoy getting girly again...its been so long since my focus shifted..

OBSESSION of the Week: Baby....yeah its obvious but I have been having fantasies, baby dreams, you name it...I just pray we get our wish for January..



HAPPINESS.. WHAT IT MEANS...

I have to really say that I feel really happy inside but still there are outside influences that threaten to break my spirit, namely WORK but I NEVER go into details.

FET JOURNEY: So Many ladies that have started the IVF process after me are pregnant or gettting ready to transfer and at first, I was feeling a little "left behind" but I quickly pushed those feelings aside and now all I feel is JOY for them. I feel happy when I see that it worked for them and sad when it doesn't because after all, we all are facing the same issues, we are INFERTILES and whats worse? We are STILL INFERTILES even if we get a BFP and have a baby so the struggle never ends for us. I dont feel sorry for myself anymore about being IF, it won't do any good. I send my praises to GOD and I ask that I am in his grace to bless me with my very own child. I await my blessing and take every delay now....instead of with sadness...I take it with happiness. I am exceedingly happy to NOT be poked with needles and not taking medication. But I walk this journey still, I am smelling the roses on the way and loving life.

"ME" Journey: I feel basically normal again, no meds, no pokes with needles, I feel free. I have dropped the 5 pounds I gained again after Thanksgiving and I have 10 more to go. I did a liquid diet for 5 days, it was extremely hard but it did help me feel loose in my clothes and it showed me I can do anything. This week I am still not taking in rice, break or pasta but will be mindful of what I eat. I cannot stress how good I feel.

OBSESSION of the Week: Happiness

I came across this musing and wanted to share it on here...

It is difficult to define happiness and contentment. Essentially , one' happiness is in one's own hands . There is a saying ' The mind is its own place an can make a hell or a heaven ' - so very true..Happiness is afterall a state of mind which has nothing to do with only material  possessions. I notice that no matter what we possess, we are still not happy with what we have. Wealth makes one happy to a certain extent, and,  when one is in love there is happiness and contentment within you before other things take over. Yet ,at the same time I have seen some of the most ordinary people leading very contented and peaceful lives with the barest of  essentials. One may say that they lack ambition, but,  at the end of the day, I feel what is more important is to look back on your life and remember the past  with a smile . 
One can then safely say that once we come to terms with our life and adjust accordingly things are bound to look up. It is not really essential to have a lot of money or wealth or other material things to make one happy in life. However there are a few requirements that are essential to make us happy and inner peace comes when all these requirements are met with. Health according to me  is of primary importance without which we can never be happy..

Happiness also is all about one's attitude towards life, and how best we are able to handle it. No doubt that money and wealth has a great part to play in our lives and in making us happy and comfortable . But there are other necessities as well that are essential. Happiness largely lies with ourselves and how we look at life and our priorities. Inner Peace and happiness go together, and we keep searching for it all our lives.

It is simpler things in life that give us immense happiness and contentment . Inner peace and love for others makes our life worth living. One is happiest when there is something to look forward to in life and there is a general feeling of contentment . Happiness comes with a combination of many things. Money is of course necessary, but , so are other things like human values and relationships.

We cannot be happy all the time since we all face pressures of some kind or the other, but,  when  one is determined to overcome all these adversities, and be positive , one is able to be happy and content most of the times . Being Positive is one of the most essential ingredient for happiness ..