Petition for Inferitlity Insurance by August 6, 2015

I am popping in asking you to PLEASE sign petition.

Mandate All Insurance to Cover Infertility as Basic Healthcare. Acknowledge Infertility as a Disease, Not a Choice

http://wh.gov/i8sJr

I'm Still Here

I'm still here, still around just nervous to start the journey again...

I do feel defeated and with each birthday I am in the grips of panic as I hear my biological clock tick tock. 

Where are we now in the process? Still the same as where I left it both

March 2012 & November 2013...... here with 2 unsuccessful attempts, and scared, with a longing heart. 

We are flooded now more than  ever on the nagging freaking question I have come to despise 

"When are you guys going to have kids?"  

In the midst of things several of our friends have had babies... through the use of IUI but while I know life goes on WOW there have been so many new family additions and we are still left childless and the couple without a kid..

For the most part I keep my self busy so Infertility will no longer consume my thoughts.

The other day my BFF of 12-13 years said something so absolutely stupid to me that I am still pissed, and  I wanted to punch her in the throat.

It was a good thing she was over the phone- she suggested I allow my husband to have an affair so their is an outside child. I didn't hang up on her instead after a minute of awkward silence I asked "would you?" and to that she didn't answer but I said-No Thanks

I love her but that line from her actually changed the way I see her now, do you think 

me so desperate to do that? It's probably one of the most insensitive things she could have said......some space is necessary.

Currently I am browsing Waiting Miracles for embryo adoption, I had made up my mind that even if we cannot do another cycle the next step is Embryo Adoption. I may even join a forum for people that are considering donating their excess embryos and have completed their families, as long as there are options, there is hope.

For anyone else that is still waiting for your miracle, don't give up hope.

POAS Remorse but hey I did it again

Friday 3/9/2012 at 5pm I bought and peed on a stick, I did it rather quickly and it was prompted because I getting those AF (Aunt Flow) like cramps and there it was 6dp6dt the second line bright not as bright as control but there all the same, I showed DH and while elated we were nervous and went about our evening of a movie at home and dinner. The night progressed to PIO shots and endless peeing for me. I admit I also woke up drank some water and then peed which probably didn't make it any better. If I didnt know better it felt like I got up 100 times but really it may have been 10 but boy it was annoying.

Saturday morning 3/10 at 6am I get up and peed on the second test did I mention I used Firt Response Early Response? Anyway this time it took the 3 or so minutes for the second line and it was much lighter than the one I took the day before and my stomach sank. I wasn't going to tell DH because he had to go to work but he woke up and wanted to see it and did and said well

A LINE IS A LINE

This is absolutely one of the reasons I love DH no matter what he almost ALWAYS see the glass as half full, always optimistic. I am the same but I at times falter but not him, it just isnt over until it's over for him. I did a quick research maybe to ease my mind, or just to confirm any dreaded false news but this is what I have learned about Home Preganancy Tests

no two tests are the same EVEN from the same box,
once you see a line it isn't relevant that it is faint or bright if HCG is detected in your urine then you should assume you are positive.

We remain prayerful and hopeful that our emby has stuck and is in there snuggling tight with mommy. I have decided against peeing on any more sticks, well I hope I don't anyway. I didnt like the up and down feeling. Would I recommend that people pee on a stick? No ! But if you must, I would say wait it out maybe until the morning of Beta testing, save yourself the torture and madness. This way you are not worried if you saw a shadow, or an actual line.

To my emby,
I know you have been very busy for the past few days. Fighting your way in the darkness of my body. You were my perfect blast when transferred, I hope you are getting snuggly tight inside. Fight as hard as you can my child to be so in 9 months I get to see you and hold you in my arms. Me and your Dad want you so much so continue to fight. God has blessed us with your development, for without him none of this would be possible. Let him continue to guide your way and stay embie, please stay. Hold on tight and fight fight fight. Mommy has beening helping in anyway with the PIO shots and, Estrace and Prenatal pills, if there was anything else I could do, I would gladly do it to make sure I see you.

Love
Your Mom



PART 2-More STICKS PLEASE AND YOU WILL SEE WHY

My 8dp6dt test is much darker now BUT it does not show well in the photo.

3:00 p.m. I was over doing things and my body responded by some serious lower back pains and harsh AF like cramps. I became really uneasy, and I told DH to drive me to the store. I bought another 2 pack of First Reponse, it took me a while to buy them. My rational is blood test is in the morning so why spend more but the cramps, me over doing it and so forth.

Here are all the sticks I kept, why you ask? I dunno I suppose for my own sense of comfort, or hope. An infertile's hurdles never seem to end first you pray for a positive, then a good beta, then that the beta doubles and so on and so on and so on.

View my parade of sticks, the photos suck sorry I used my crappy phone.