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Sunday, January 15, 2012

I HAVE BEEN HIT..........LIKE A TON OF BRICKS PILED HIGH READY TO BE CEMENTED...

WEEKEND WARRIOR? UUUUUUHHHMMMM NOT REALLY JUST TRYING TO KEEP MYSELF AND MIND COMPLETELY BUSY AND THEN i HAD IT, MY EPIPHANY.

I am now trying to plan for next months HRT FET. Apparently on CD 1 I begin estrace and then when my lining is thick enough then I do progesterone for 5 days then transfer...AF is due 2/1 but she will come on the 5th. Did I not tell you she has been quite the bitch on this journey....there I said it...I am going to church to pray on that...I have been very careful with my choice of words and getting my soul right but if it walks like a duck then it is...and a bitch is what she has been while on this journey. I wont argue that the BCP, clomid, menopur, estrogen and everything else I have ingested could have been a part of the crazy cycles but seriously enough is enough, start on time. RANT to my body: Please do your effing job and move on so I can have our baby...
Speaking of our lone soilder at New Hope...I have been channelling my thoughts into positive ones...so much presure on my sweet frostie...and then this morning as I was lost in a sea of thoughts of my cycle it hits me MY EPIPHANY.

IF my HRT FET Cycle in February takes place around FEB 20th or so, and is successful, then the EDD is November 2012. My Dad, my bestfriend was killed in 1998 and November 16th was his birthday...it's making me choke with emotions to even really put it all together....the possibility that i might have a child the month of my late Fathers birthday and if it is successful and a boy, yeah I am sure I will be a world of emotions. I was so close to him..I cannot even get into that, I fear I would stay on the couch in tears all day. So alas, I now have a bigger picture to paint. Side Note: I dont think my friends have seen me cry much, they call me iceberg, it's not that I don't but I just do it privately when I do and for the most part my emotions get worked out on my walks........when I do walk, goodness I have been so lazy with that these pass few months. I have to get back on track.



CHANGING THE SUBJECT:
YEAH SO I cannot believe that a ship sank, holy shit how scary is that? This is me just finding out today as I am watching the weather channel and updating my blog.....seriously I mentioned many posts ago..I DO NOT ENJOY WATCHING THE NEWS SO FOR THE MOST PART I DON'T. It's not that it doesn't sometimes have invaluable information i could use, but it always leave me with a sadness or anger so hey why not just eliminate it as much as I can out of my world while on this journey. The key to my sanity has been stressfree..

ANYWAY SO I HAD A BUSY WEEKEND so far, I had to jump on a train to go the family and spent a great time there. Me and DH plan on going to church today, tackle the laundry, go on a date and stay warm..bbrrr hate it when it is 40 degrees....I mean this is south florida for chrissakes, I absolutely love my little dresses and flip flops...this pic is old but hey this is our norm..

On the plus side I do like it at 60 degrees or so because the cooler weather does wonders for my skin..I have such oily skin so it does give me some releif in that aspect..and YES I drink water by the loads, its just the cards I was dealt with this oily skin.


I was just humming this song and thought I would post it

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