The Universe & Phone Call Done

First let me me just say the phone consultation went well. It was with Nurse L, & she answered the few questions I had, naturally I forgot some  but overall she did great.

 I do have the option for a follow up call from an R/E but I didn't think it was necessary..........for now.

 I told her a little of my history and the protocol she mentioned they would do my cycle

 tailored to me. We shall see how true this part really is.

 She asked me in detail about the last IVF

 and she asked me with the number of eggs they retrieved do I think I have PCOS?

 I said well no I have not been told that and have seen 3 R/Es.

#1. R/E 2005  1st Laparoscopy found the blocked tubes

#2. R/E 2011-2012 Mini IVF NYC

#3 R/E 2013 Antagonist Cycle

My main reason for not needing a followup right away is 

that  despite ordering my medical records since 11/3  I did not receive them.

I.WAS.PISSED.

Thankfully I called, gave them a stern talking to and got it bright and early today.

I was glancing over the notes and my eyes fell upon a tidbit I clearly did not know.

PCO noted for ovaries.... no not PCOS......it says PCO. A mistake? Not sure but let me tell
 you I thought WTF. I already have my tubes to contend with why must there be this crap too?

I have been wanded about 1,000,000 times and never told this but hell what can I do but deal with this blow too. Effing Infertility. First you kick me in the tubes, now the freaking ovaries. You will not win, You just can't Damn It. 

Also he noted that egg quality is an issue in one area and then that they were good blasts in another so I am confused. I wish I had 3 months to get my body together with supplements for this go around.

For goodness sake I was 34 and he noted something about age.....BASTARD. 

Sorry just his notes made me mad since much of it I was not told. Anyway I did start the Coq 10, Acai, Prenatals, Vitamin  D & Fish Oil. Melatonin when I remember too a few weeks ago.
So if it's a fight Infertility wants it's a fight there will be. If I could financially I would keep fighting not just for me, but for the countless women out there going through this disease they call elective so we cannot get insurance coverage.  I am angry but my choice of action is to better myself.

Let the games commence 

Bitter Chinese Herbs ( will gulp it gladly to clear tubes worked for some maybe me too)

Serrapeptase( scar tissue if any are present, did it often last year and sparingly this one)

Castor Oil Pack ( loosen up any scar tissue if present)

Supplements prior to this round

Try to commit 100% to a clean diet

Loose 10 pounds(seriously I was 10 pounds lighter at that cycle and he told me I need to loose weight  & he put it in the note)

 I am also going to do something I am terrified of ...... Acupuncture.

So a Big Fat EFF YOU !!

 Infertility and the horse you rode in on

The happiness you stole from me,

The tears I have cried,

The years I have watched go on,

The prognosis known and unknown,

Our empty arms,

The dumb ass questions we are asked by even strangers, &

The damn clock ticking in the back ground.

I already have the big guns, looks like I need bigger ones.

Let's GO

Consultation & Supplements before starting

This might be a little long

It didn't take long to get a phone call from CNY but I think the tone of the caller had me a little well uneasy, and quite frankly nothing bad was said. I think it's in my head, I initially wanted to cycle at Syracuse but I think I will change my mind to Albany "IF" I decide to cycle with them. Thus far there are LOTS of mixed reviews about this clinic which isn't making my unease any better but we shall see. Honestly we do not have cash lying around to test the waters, age is also no longer on my side.

 

Our  phone consultation will be on 11/21... YAY. I guess I am anxious and wanted sooner but heck such is life :-) . I think I am being a total nut especially since I planned on cycling closer to February. I know I will need to do another HSG, insurance sucks so I am pretty sure I DO NOT want to do another laparoscopy so Chinese Herbs it is to get any gunk in my broken tubes out.

Me waiting for the consult

 

In the meantime I am getting ready to order a few supplements to help egg quality. A few I used for the cycle in 2013 so perhaps posted before.

Side-Note
I have sleeping issues. Sometimes I am fine and can get 6-7 hours, but lately I am lucky if I can get 4 uninterrupted. It's not the bed ( we tried changing the mattress a few months ago which I love), I have been suffering with insomnia for a few years now. It is so bad that when my friend had her infant and was up doing late feedings, she would text me to pass the time because she "knew" I would be up.
 Lovely right?

Anyway saying all of that to say this.....1 of the supplements on the list is Melatonin so I did a test drive last night and got 6 1/2 hours and so score...

The CCRM's supplement list is below, if you decide to take any of them I suggest you do your research. For myself I don't plan on taking all of them, especially DHEA.

• Myo Inositol, 2 grams, twice daily ( Probably won't take this either)
• Melatonin, 3 mg, bedtime -
• Co-Enzyme Q10, 200 mg, three times daily -
• L-Arginine, 1000 mg, twice daily -
• Poor responders addition: DHEA, 25 mg, three times a day from compounding pharmacy
• Pycogenol-100 mg. 1 x/day
• Royal Jelly - Not from CCRM
• Chinese Herbs( stop at start of stims)-Not from CCRM
• Wheat grass juice -Not from CCRM 
• Fish oil or Omega 3 500 mg
• Vitamin C – 200 mg, 1x/day (in the morning)
• Vitamin E – 200 IU, 1 x/day
• Vitamin D

Supplements with great documented results for treatment of various problems associated with infertility in MEN

• CoQ10 - at least 300 mg
• L-Argnine
• PYCONOGENOL

I am not a pill popper which I have mentioned somewhere along the lines before, but IVF isn't cheap so why not try to up the already low odds.

Thankfully I have been eating fairly clean, ok perhaps 75% clean for 3 months I still have a long way to go. Ultimately none of this is up to me, it's on God's timing.

 

A Plan Is Underway

It has been quite the while, can't believe we are already nearing the end of October, wow time flies especially when your biological clock is ticking and your arms are empty and you are now 37 so a whole 12 years of dealing with infertility.....**Sigh**

On the bright side, we have a plan, not just a plan but funding for that plan...well 85% of it. THANK.YOU.GOD.

Hubby has been secretly saving for months and then hands me cash yesterday stating "here hopefully this is enough for perhaps 1 cycle, I tried my hardest and will try to add more in December" 

O.K. Back Up! What ? Holy Shit I almost passed out from the shock and joy. It dawned on me he was going to purchase a new car this year

Well it is enough for a full cycle at  CNY, New York, actually closer to 2 WITHOUT meds.

He knows I am resourceful and will find away to get the other 15% but I have to say my heart skipped several beats at him for being so sneaky and doing this alone but for making this sacrifice. He is always so selfless but for IVF he hasn't been all the way on board, I think like me we wanted, prayed & still hoping for a natural miracle. IVF has no guarantees but it is a step.

Am off to make consult appointments and have already made up my mind to cycle in January/February next year. 

Next step get the CCRM cocktail list and start preparing my body.

The race is still on...

This will be a short & sweet post.

Couch 25K
So in my last post over a month ago I talked about couch 25K. Technically I should have been almost done by now but the weather has messed up the schedule so several weeks later I am on week 3 of training...uggh the humanity. Okay,  not just the weather , I had to repeat week 2 about 3 or err 4 times, there I said it. Running and being out of shape really sucks...but I will overcome and I am overcoming. On a brighter note- I AM RUNNING...woo hoo...albeit slow, looking like an injured animal gasping for air. but.. I AM RUNNING.

As for IVF 
It's all about the where & the when now.

I told Hubby around the fall this year & he said....drum roll  please.........YES. Also, I said Mexico and he paused for a sec and then said ok so 2 out of 2. I am excited...but obviously there are many variables I have to weigh.

It is only my beginning phase of  researching the where since I am trying to figure out where to go. Mexico? NYC? Boston?

Where we go will  LARGELY depend on our finances or lack there of, but I  have not given up on being a mom, to go through pregnancy, to have my own child/children.  Serrapeptase is still in my arsenal of supplies and I am back to faithfully taking them daily. Thank goodness for notes & my blog since I have to refer to them on how to take my primrose oil and Dong Quai.

Looking back, sadly I was here a year ago, hopeful but ready and as you can see still not pregnant a year later. In life you have 2 choices dwell on the short comings or go out and find opportunities . For me it's a no-brainer let's keep moving.

Damn it 2016 please be our year  & please give us a break from infertility. Natural or assisted we just want our own child/children. Ok am done babbling until next time.

And so the race begins...sort of !

Sorry, I couldn't really think up a title to say I am here and I am back.

I tend to leave for long periods don't I?

Quite frankly when there is nothing new to report who wants to write about the same thing daily.

I want a baby, I am still broken, my bilogical clock is ticking, and so on.

As for the supplements, I stopped.  The ovulation tracking I stopped that as well. I got both bored, side tracked, busy, and all the other excuses there are. I basically wanted to have a cool out period which lasted longer than I anticipated. All will begin again slowly this month..honestly the Serrapeptase's effects must still be present because despite not using it for 4 or so months I still do not cramp. 

So what the heck is the title about you wonder?

2 things  (a). First I will start the couch to 5k program today...and if you need details please go here she does a great job of providing Details for Couch to 5K .

I decided I am getting way too heavy and finding all the reasons to not take care of it..many mentioned above and since I am ahem....getting older I need to take care of me.

Also I know that I need to be in optimal health for....

(b) & the second is that I am trying to figure out where to do IVF this year, financing etc.

(b) is tricky for a number of reasons but I will just say for now that, hubby is not really on board 100% with IVF even though we both still VERY much want a child.

 I won't force him..........who am I kidding? Let's just say I am gently easing him there. 

I have been researching in the mean time and found a reputable clinic in NYC that will do, 3 tries for $10K or 2 for $7K. I am not sure if I will go visit in the summer or start this in the fall but it will be sooner than later fingers crossed. 

And that's what's new folks....I am starting the couch to 5K, getting the eggs nice and healthy, and then hopefully will be doing IVF this year.

New Year, Same Goal

Happy New Year,

It's been quite some time since I have been here and even longer it seems that I tracked or kept up with anything. It's a new year but I still have the same goals. Hubby is really dragging his feet with a decision on IVF for March this year. I do not want to push but I will re-visit this again in a few weeks. 

I only just recently started taking my Serrapeptase again, the holidays are always the hardest with infertility plus being busy with other things. I am back on to tracking and according to my Glow App I am CD 26.

Not a resolution but I am working out again...it's the little things.

I purchased this book today from Amazon..... only a penny can't beat that deal. I can't wait to receive it. Technology would give me this in my hands right away but I prefer the book, to reference later or to pass along if needed..... oh well I guess I am  old fashion.

Where's the Peak

This entire cycle is completely *expletive* off.

 

Today is Cycle Day 33 there was NO peak so not sure if I even ovulated this cycle, oh my life. I get cervical mucous throughout the month but I do not temp so perhaps I should track both ways in the event this happens again. Also I ran out of test sticks  after CD 25 OMG I just want to scream ( yes I am aware that I should have ordered some more and quite frankly I completely kept putting it off until it was too late) so if I did ovulate it was beyond those days for sure.

There are somethings that I did this cycle or should I say did not do?

I did not take my serrapeptase for about 5-6 weeks consistently, I forgot to take my vitamins, didn't drink my Donq Quai....drank very like of the Chinese herbs....just all in all lazy forgetful.**expletive**

Damn it

Current Highs

CD 12 and my Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor started the day with a beautiful high.

My Chinese herbs are here... finally and so I am starting the day drinking this absolutely pungent cocktail hoping it is clearing my tubes and doing the things it needs to. My serra will be here by Friday the 13th( I am not superstitious) which will be 3 weeks since I last had a pill. I hate that I took so long to order and hated that I wasted a week waiting from that other company. As soon as I get them I am going hard 6-8 per day for the first week & then back down to my 4 there after.

On another note-  I am on a 21 day prayer point to the Lord for my breakthrough. Truth be told I have not been praying as hard as I use to for our child/children. I suppose part of it is due to me resting in his promise and the other part.......well am not so sure. I still have hope &  faith but the heart grows weary. Our  gift will come from God no matter what I do and I believe his word.

CD 10 Happenings & Rant

CD 10, I am showing low on my fertility monitor and took my last Soy Isoflavone for this cycle last night CD 9 Woo-Hoo. For this cycle I did 200 mg from CD 4-8 but last night I only took 160 mg, because quite frankly I was too lazy to go cut the pill ( they are 40 mg) & I would not chance taking 220 mg. I am still taking the evening primrose oil & my prenatal vitamins faithfully now. Also I take my wheat-grass shot in the mornings & I also have a glass of Pom juice daily.

My Rant- Why can't people ship things when they say they will? I have been out of Serra for 3 weeks now & ordered my replacement  a week ago from eBay.... and can you guess why I am mad? Well the seller still has not shipped my item now 6 days later after paying. I.AM.PISSED. If they don't ship out today I will order from Amazon for 2 day shipping which I should have done in the first place, but hindsight is freaking 20/20. My Chinese herbs that I also ordered from eBay this time are also delayed ( rolls eyes)....so I am not happy about that either. I was provided a tracking that has the package sitting in California since 11/4th.......(insert expletive)..*sigh* Lord grant me the serenity.

Moving right along- I will continue with my vitamins as well as the castor oil until the rest of my supplements get here. I know the best thing I can do to prepare for pregnancy is to start eating a very clean diet, continue to drink lots of  water, & to get some form of exercise daily. For the last week or so I have been back to watching what I am eating & slowly getting back in the swing of things with exercise. I don't drink coffee so this isn't an issue for me, but for a pick me up at work, I do drink green tea with caffeine. I know, I know caffeine is bad for egg quality am working on this.

I am so proud of myself so far though and am down 5 pounds. Then I come in and someone brought donuts in the office....bastards. One donut won't hurt will it?  

CD 4 Soy Isoflavones

I fell asleep last night ( CD 3) and forgot to take the Soy Iso...  what a freaking lunatic I am LOL.

The good news is I can take it tonight ( CD 4) and perhaps the 2 dominant eggs will grow strong and yield my baby/babies. On the plus side no harm done it is still the early part of the cycle. 

And before you think it, alarm reminders SELDOM help... yes I am aware... I HAVE A PROBLEM 

See my previous post about Soy Isoflavones here complete with a link to many success stories.

Well Hello November & Soy Isoflavones for TTC

Accurately described this last cycle

So obviously last cycle was a bust.... I did have some hope but who am I kidding we did not baby dance enough.

Today is CD 3 & so far I took my Evening primrose, vitamin C and will take my first Soy Isoflavones tonight before bed, 200 mg. This cycle I will do CD 3-7 and not 4-8 as I did last month. I have been getting mixed messages about evening primrose so I will keep it 1000 to 2000 mg per day. I am taking it mainly for EWCM ( Egg White Cervical Mucous). I will get the Pom Juice and start drinking away, I read that it will help the uterine lining. I am still taking my Wheatgrass shot and feel so much better.

Also and most importantly my cycle came at exactly 30 days so my hormones are balancing.......happy dance for that.

Oh, where are my manners.... Did I tell you about Soy Isoflavones?

DISCLAIMER- DO NOT MESS WITH WHAT ISN'T BROKEN!  Which means, if you have a "normal" cycle (anything under 35 days) & ovulate on your own it is highly recommended that you use caution or do not take Soy Isoflavones at all. 
Also,like anything else it is recommended that you check with your doctor before trying anything. 

 This information is not medical advice, I am not a doctor nor am I pretending to be one.
Finally please do your own research.
**I took it last cycle to help with O &  because my cycles that were once an average of 30 days or so went wacky for July, August as well as Sept. After taking it for the first time October my cycle started after 30 days which was my usual time-frame.

Now On to the Details

Soy Iso is taken a lot like Clomid but It is NOT Clomid.  Researchers believe it may have the same effects as Clomid as in helping women WHO DO NOT OVULATE ON THEIR OWN to ovulate.  Like Clomid,  Soya Isoflavones work by tricking your body into thinking its low on oestrogen. Your body then kick starts production of FSH (Follicle-stimulating hormone) followed by LH (Luteinizing hormone) Which are both necessary to release Healthy Eggs during ovulation. FSH is released at the start of the menstrual cycle; it stimulates the growth of an immature egg into a fully matured egg. When the egg has matured your body then releases a surge of LH. LH is the hormone that tells the ovary to release the egg.

 Because Soy Iso is natural, the dosage is twice as much as what your Clomid dose would be.  Here is a good way to start...

The starter dose of Clomid is usually 50 mg.  Therefore you would need 100 mg. of Soy Iso. Most bottles however (such as the Walmart Brand pictured below) come in 40 mg. tablets.  So either only take 2 for 80 mg. or take 3 to make 120 mg.  From there you can determine if you need to up your dose next cycle.  DO NOT TAKE MORE THAN 200 MG. each cycle.

Soy Isoflavones are taken for 5 days ONLY in the beginning of your cycle.  Taking them any more could negatively affect your fertility! Likewise I would not take them more than 6 cycles consistently. 

For example you would take them CD 1-5, 2-6, 3-7, 4-8 or 5-9.  Most women do CD 3-7 to receive a happy medium of mature yet multiple egg release possibilities.  IT IS NOT RECOMMENDED TO START BEYOND CD 5!

1-5 = you produce more eggs, and ovulate sooner, with a stronger ovulation.

2-6 = you produce more eggs that usual, but not as many as taking it 1-5. Eggs may be more mature, and ovulation will be slightly more strong than 1-5.

3-7 = The best of both worlds, a few more eggs, and all eggs will be strong & mature, and ovulation will be alot stronger than 1-5.

4-8 = No more eggs will be produced, but the ones already there, will be matured a lot more than usual, and ovulation will be very strong. Ovulation may only be brought forward a teeny bit.

5-9 = You'll have one very mature strong egg, from the ones you already produced on your own. Ovulation will either happen when it usually does, or a few days later, but your egg will be of great quality.

Just like Clomid, there are different days that work for different women taking Soy Iso.  As a general rule, the earlier in your cycle you take it, the more eggs you will release but the less mature they will be.  The later you take it there will be less eggs released but they will be more mature.

** DO NOT TAKE SOY ISO AND VITEX AT THE SAME TIME!**

Here is a link of many  Success with Soy Isoflavones

My last cycle I took it from Cycle days 4-8 and I felt ovulation and it was the first time I received Highs to Peak on my clear blue easy fertility monitor. I took it on those days because of the day I bought it, this will be my second cycle and I am hopeful it will work. As for my tubes, I will continue with Serrapeptase, Chinese herbs and castor oil pack and keep praying for the best.

A new item came up Clear Flow from Radiant Wonder. I have heard good things about radiant wonder.