Appointments are Today.....freaking out

Got to work late this morning I was at Labcorp for an hour with no appointment which was my fault. I had to do bloodwork follow up and then my U/S is scheduled for 4pm today as well, Monday's HCG was 9900 so today not sure where it should be but I doubt it can double as much once it starts to get so much higher. I have been having terrible nightmares all week of how badly it will turn out at the U/S but there was one good dream about me having a son. At Labcorp I was squirming in my seat, almost ran out of there and I had to think rationally, running from this wont change my sitaution ( it's silly now that I think of it).

The nurse at Labcorp could NOT find a vein and it hurt like hell for the little blood she was able to get from me OUCH....gosh when will this be over, positively of course and soon I hope. Since I cannot drink a glass of wine, prayer has been keeping me sane, and a few curse words too, okay I admitt it but I have an excuse, I am loosing my mind in limbo.

My feelings: FREAK OUT MODE....probably would type gibberish at work as I do in some of my previous posts if I didn't do accounting, thank goodness it is all numbers. I purposely do not fix the errors in my blog as tacky as it may be to some, because I want to remember how frantic I was and my feelings at the time. I dunno, its therapuetic to me but I apologize for anyone who has to read the grammatical nonsense I spew. :-)

DH is freaking out but trying to hold it together every day since tuesday he has asked when is your next appointment dear? How do you feel honey? So does this mean you are still pregnant? Why are you always sleeping when you get home from work? How are your boobs? Can you stay positive and be happy from at least what the last doctor said? Do you feel anything in there? And oh yeah the other night I got up in the middle of the night and he all but carried me to the ladies room all because I must have seemed like I was struggling (I was hlf asleep) LOL. It is cute but according to him he is not freaking out right..... yeah ok.

IF THERE IS ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE GOING THROUGH A ROLLERCOASTER OF EMOTIONS AFTER IVF/FET HERE IS A VERY HELPFUL LINK I FOUND

http://abeautifulday.blogs.com/when_ivf_worksthings_the_/2010/05/when-ivf-.html



Sympthoms/Concerns: Hhmmmmm boobs not as ba but yeah they hurt. I pee frequently but again not as much as the first 1 1/2 week where I could go all the time, now yes the urgency is still there but not reading into anything. At the end of the day, I know I will get through this with either outcome. aT the moment I am channeling happy thoughts, sticky vibes, and baby dust. What would make my day?- hmmmm to see a beating heart or to see development of ANY KIND. My hearts desires have been prayed to God so now I wait, and as painful as it is to feel like you are heading into either a blissful abyss or a painful situation it has to happen. I end with this for now and I will follow up later on the results...