Just as the title shows, we have 5 more days to see the RE for the follow up. I moved it up 1 week because I am having insurance issues and would rather be safe than sorry.
There isn't much going on around here, life is less than exciting and summer is "almost drawing" to a close. I am NOT sad to see it go because I am anxious to start.....well I hope I start. Moving up the appointment is risky because AF ( Aunt Flo) is due on the same day but we shall see. I did not go on a diet as I said and did not loose any weight ( not that I was advised to but still ) however I did not gain ( Woo Woo have to get your excitement where you can) any and have been walking here and there again to get some physically activity in.
Disconnect
My life has been so wrapped with nothing but Infertility that I am not sure who I am anymore. I use to really love fashion and now I am not so much interested or even care. I guess all things are not as important when you are trying to grow your own family and it feels like it is out of reach, I have become so introverted and I hate it. Struggling with Infertility in silence is tough but at the same time it is easier for us to deal with it this way, we cannot deal with having others emotionally invested, I cannot deal with feeling like a failure if something were to go wrong. I know that Infertility is a disease but it would be EXHAUSTING to have to explain this to friends and family, and I don't want to, perhaps later but for now no. I know that it may be better to have this out there for more people to know about this epidemic. I am sure they are somewhat aware that we have issues but it is still "grey". I mean one of my closest friends asked me 4 days ago, "So are you guys trying" and I answered not right now WHICH is true....Not right now because I know we are not cycling at the moment but I did feel bad that I couldn't be honest with her. Another friend shared that even though she has 2 children it was due to her love for her husband because she had no plans of EVER having kids..... I was CRUSHED, but it isn't her fault, those are her true feelings. I feel so disconnected from them both because they are parents and I am not.
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Hi, I found your blog through Lost and Found and would like to send you some encouragement, having gone through a couple of IVFs myself. I totally understand what you feel right now, about having your life wrapped with TTC, struggling in silence, having to deal with those questions from friends. You will get there eventually. Good luck for your IVF!
ReplyDeleteHi Ariel,
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your understanding and support, its always great to find people that "get" the emotional toll this all brings.
Thank you