Yesterday by far was one of the hardest days for me....I received the news from my clinic that my results were great....BUT ( always that damn but) from my sonogram there was fluid around my ovaries.....Well cannot say that I overly surprised, after all there is always freaking something...everything is NEVER just smooth sailing...I was advised to go into the clinic a day before the impending ET to have this rviewed and the fluid aspirated...from there they will have a better idea on when I can do ET. My emotions went from being angry at the situation, angry at DH for being positve, angry at my body and freaking jacked up reproductive system, angry at life...just angry. I truly had the towel in my hand and was ready to throw it in. I look in the mirror and I not only gained the 5 pounds I lost over the holidays I gained am sure another 10 so in all I am sure I gained a whooping 20-25 pounds since January 2011. I was angry but then it slowly subsided, I kept talking to
God in my head, I kept thinking about the baby that will be here and forcing us out of our too tiny condo...I thought and thought and then went to sleep. I woke up today INCREDIBLY uplifted and feeling like the old me.....yes the woman in that use to say FUCK you ( SORRY for the explitive its my emotions) to any adversary, I am not giving up, these last few months have been the hellish ones of my life and I will be damned if I just go cry, be sad or accept defeat in a corner. Damn you HYDROSALPHINX for fucking up my tubes, damn you life for being the shit you have been to me and making me work 5 times harder to get anything, and damn this situation that make me weak, I am human but weak isn't in me despite my fear of needles I AM NOT WEAK.
I will continue to give praises to my LORD and savior...I will ask him to forgive me for the explitives I said and the ones I thought, I ask for forgiveness for allowing doubt into my mind and into my heart.... WHEN has anything been easy for me? WHEN? NEVER thats right never.....I have had to fight for alot all of my life....my name should be warrior princess, if there is a fight of wills I have it and not damn fluid will take it away from me, we deal with it and move on from it.....no sad face....no making the devil think he has won.
PIO SHOTS...
For any ladies that have to take this shot and are fearful of needles like me then GET EMLA CREAM NOW, no own stock if you have to.Last night was our first evil, dreaded progesterone in oil shot, I didnt feel anything and I was so nervous. A few minutes after the shote the spot felt slightly sore even with the heating pad, and massaging...but a hot shower took care of that and the soreness is much more dull, definitely need to alternate sides. In the end, I felt better knowing we'd done lots of reading online for various tips. I knew that we were prepping as much as we could and that we just had to go for it. Our approach is outlined below. I must give the disclaimer that I am not a nurse, nor claim to be one. If you are reading this and administering PIO, please consult your clinic and/or pharmacy for full, proper instructions.
Pick a time in the PM, that's not too close to bedtime. You'll see why below
•Numb area with Emla CREAM or an icepack before hand to ease the stick. Flick the site to ensure you dont feel anything before injecting if you do am sure you will feel it.
•Identify the correct area on the cheek/hip to inject. A proper injection site, from what I've read and been told by our nurse, is extremely important. The upper 1/4 quadrant of the toosh, to be exact. We were specifically told it shouldn't really be "in the butt" at all. If you go too low, you're at risk for hitting your sciatic nerve, which can cause semi-permanent nerve damage and I'm sure hurt like a mutha. To find the right spot, we drew a horizontal line at my crack over one cheek, and then split that cheek vertically down the center, which allowed us to identify the upper 1/4 quad. Mine was done sorta still in the butt well I have too much back there at the moment so cannot help it, lots of cushion for the pushing though :-)
•Take all of the weight off the muscle you're injecting into. I recommend lying face down. The more tense, the more it will hurt and the harder it will be for the PIO to disperse into the area. DH was trying to convince me to stand but no way Josie.....laying flat facing the opposite way was not so unnerving.
*Warm the oil in a heating pad or with both hands prior to injecting. Slightly warming gets the oil looser. I do not think it was warm enough yesterday so 1cc took a few seconds longer but the nurse at the clinic I did local monitoring yesterday said SLOW AND STEADY, the faster you rush then it might hurt.
•After sticking, hold still while the med is being administered. What a concept, huh. :) After he stuck me, which I barely felt most likely because of the EMLA CREAM, I could still feel the presence of the needle, but it didn't hurt at all. This is good, seeing as how it takes a bit of time to inject all of the PIO into the muscle due to the thickness of the solution. I dont know which oil but it took a few seconds to get in.
*After injecting apply steady pressure with a warm rag or with the heating pad and sit on it for 10 or so minutes..mine stil was a litte sore but a Hot shower helped.
•Massage, heat, walk around, massage heat etc! Ok, so maybe we didn't do all of that AND repeat, but you get the idea. I hope my ideas help and we did ours around 8 pm, not too close to bed so I was able to heat and walk around.
Today, the area has a dull sore feeling, but it's not bad to walk in my heels. My hope is that between alternating cheeks and the EMLA life saviorthat it will heal the next time we get to the same spot. Only time will tell! I am going to declare that I hope we do not have to stay on them but go on to the crinone suppositories...I am so over needles..
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