The InBetween

1. situated somewhere between two extremes or recognized categories; intermediate:

   Ex. "I am not unconscious, but in some in-between state"

 

This is how I feel right now.......................IN-BE·TWEEN. Sitting in this space with my anxious heart until we cycle in the next month or maybe 2.

 The nothingness drives me insane I don't do well with the in-between. I am waiting on hearing back from Compassionate Care on if we are approved for any assistance. My Disney wish is  to be approved with a minimum of  50% covered, & for this IVF cycle to begin & end successfully with our healthy baby/babies in our arms.

 

 

 I go between feeling elated and then completely deflated.

Elated because this is another chance, & then deflated because heck we are doing "this" again. *Sigh*

This isn't a fun place but I learn to live in it, and remember this

 “Be still and know that I am God.”

 

My faith has been tested over and over and over and over. I currently feel so out of touch with God, don't worry I won't go into that today. The worse part of the in between for me is  Doing. Absolutely. Nothing. I will continue to use this time taking my supplements and try to get myself completely purged.....just keep food away from me, the flesh is weak.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bitching/Ranting I got on the scale & gained 5 pounds this last week. Are you freaking kidding me!! I needed to loose 10 it seems the harder I try the more I fail. W.T.F. I will dust off the treadmill and get walking today. I do the damage, I know what I eat and what I am doing, I have no one to blame.

 

Have you ever seen Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead on Netflix, if not check it out.

 

http://www.fatsickandnearlydead.com/