Medication Cost Crisis & other things

Things are finally somewhat tapering off in my world. The holiday is gone, work is hectic still but not as bad as a month ago and I  can finally really review the documents the clinic sent in November & early December.

Truthfully I wonder if I am completely vested on this next ivf journey....... I am beating myself up for not being better with my eating and taking my supplements while I waited. I am considering a 2-3 day fast/detox to prep, heck even acupuncture has been pushed off but that's more for financial reasons. I feel like I know the right things to do, and I am not doing them. I have been up at night worried it won't work......I pray but then I worry which is counterproductive. What is wrong with me? We have no funds and all that we scraped together I should at least do all the right things for a good shot but I am not. Who will I blame my body? the doctor?. Sigh.....

Anyway so I log in and look at the medication list and gasped.....

HOLY. FREAKING. COW!!

I will not only need a lot of meds( this is no surprise in the ivf world) the cost is astronomical & make me nervous,  but the amount I will administer is even worse. I will apply to compassionate care for assistance, in 2013 we were given a 75% discount ( I applied while I was unemployed for 3 months), but this time I am not so sure we will qualify for  that. The next option and on top of the list is to order meds abroad from the UK. There are 2 top companies that come in mind that I won't mention until I use them.

Looking at this list I will need Gonal F, Menopur, Cetrotide, Lupron... Lupron? never used that.
Wait? What? Why do I need to be on 300 IU of Gonal F to begin with when responding has not or ever been the issue?  Before  I start to order meds I will need to speak with someone about this and get them my medical records pronto. I wasn't on this much in 2013 and yielded 31 eggs. They are the doctors/nurses but this is not a 1 size fits all deal for me, we are making many sacrifices for this cycle financially and I do not want to hear....oops or sorry we didn't know. I need answers so as soon as I can find the schedule I want to send them that with my medical records as well.

On the plus side, I have been having a green drink lately and plan to purge from the madness of sugar and processed foods I have been devouring for 60 days. I know I can do it and it will be ok no need to worry about it since it is already done.