WHAT A CRAPPY WEEK-IT'S NOW A NOVEMBER FET FOLKS

Sooo much was happening and Not Happening...

I went away to Virginia this past weekend and I had a great time...went walking down Virginia Beach and it was interesting, there was a wedding that just took place so we saw the couple taking pics on the beach...
The most interesting part was this statue....nice and different..

Anyway got pampered and spent some much needed time with the bestie. I wont tell you about the awfully long lay over and time to get home only to be at work within mere hours of that, worth every minute though....aaahhhhh..

10/26-Blood work and Ultrasound
I bet you are waiting to hear the wonderful news of when the ET will be right....its been a few weeks and time is drawing near.........NOT !!!!! So I took my last pill of Estrace yesterday as prescribed by the doctor,,,I was happy leaving the RE's office I do the local monitoring they said my lining went from 8.9 triple lined to now 14mm triple lined.....YAY I got the call from my own  RE's office that my hormone levels are great but the lining is too thick...too thick? I almost lost it...let me recap last week 10/17th they TOLD me to take estrace to thicken my lining and then a week later it did EXACTLY what they said and now it is TOO THICK? REALLY? I was so angry and frustrated. This is ridiculous Arrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! I'm so freaking pissed off and then of course it comes back to me doing a Hysteroscopy, they want me to do this before moving forward with a November FET so hell here we go.......DH being the great man he is reminded me to have faith and let it play out...maybe it wasnt meant to happen now, he brought home a few of my treats and held me for a little while.

I guess I sit and keep having baby thoughts  and drive myself NUTS...i admit I did get the feeling my emby is being held hostage but I know thats ridiculous, if it helps our chances to transfer when all is ideal then so be it. I had to pray to calm myself....this journey cam bring out the worst emotions ever.

OBSESSION OF THE WEEK: CRIBS, I love looking at them and having my own little fantasies..BUT it is to also get past the weeks ahead and to be in optimal health..I am really considering doing Acupuncture & Fertility Yoga. But I lOVE Boots too, dont get to wear them often in South Florida but I cannot wait...I love Rachel Zoe and seeing her rock these hot boots while she was pregnant is an inspiration :-)..

As for getting "ME" back am still working on it...and it feels good...

Terrific Thursday & Estrace Update

I am happy and smilining from Ear to Ear...I am counting down the days to getaway...come on saturday.

I have been doing good on my journey to get 'Me" back...I know it sounds a little well selfish considering I am trying to conceive BUT I have to be in optimal health and feel good in order to conceive...I am not doing an all liquid crash diet..I will just eat right and excercise again..

Journey Thoughts: I strongly believe in God and his blessing..When I find myself thinking of the what ifs...I quickly quiet my brain..not many people have had or will have the opportunity I did so for that I am already grateful.

Medication for Lining
I started Estrace 2 days ago as advised due to my lining issues which was at 8.9MM on CD8...which might I add is normal per all the Documents I have read but hey...I wont push besides I love the RE's office that I do the monitoring...the U/S tech girl is so awesome.
Estrace CONS: headache and makes insomnia worse
Estrace PROS: Face is glowing and cleared right up...boobs look luscious

Beyonce Pregnancy RUMORS.....My mood on this journey...

OKay so first let me reveal I am a Beyonce fan. I love the big hair, love the style, love the music...well it depends on the song.. I am thrilled she is pregnant....well i think since there seems to be all sorts of rumors about this pregnancy. OH well she is inspiring me to be SEXY and PREGNANT..Not so sure if I will continue with my stillettos though, those i might have to rest....or bring the inches down a bit. You might think I am getting ahead of myself and you know what...maybe but heck why not...ALWAYS think positive...

Okay so I will start doing an Obsession of the week.

OBSESSION: Sexy, Trendy, Maternity wear...but NO never costly. I love the selections at Motherhood from Heidi Klum...you guessed it, I am a fashionista........but on a budget. On this IVF journey boy did I neglect myself a little, just completely focused on this process so today I made the decision to loose the 10 pounds I gained while on this journey ( I blame the birth control pills, menopur and the lack of excercise for 2 1/2 months). I am getting my DIVA and sleep back........ FET Hopefully is in a few weeks and I should have started a fews ago but better late than never right...

MOOD: I am Happy, God has been good to me and I thank him everyday..... Tonight I will be doing gentle yoga, so here starts my journey to get "ME" back while getting ready to put my emby back...and making us 2 become us 3.

Where did the week GO...

Last week went by so fast.....I spent this weekend with my family..
Not much exciting happening in my life right now, just dwindling my thumbs and waiting for
my SFET which will be here within 2 weeks...or so....

Today is CD8 (CD-Cycle Day)  B/W & U/S happened this morning by later the RE will call and tell me when they predict ovulation and then I can plan to travel to NYC for the sFET. I am happy and content and just praying for the best. My current obsession is maternity clothing...I have asked God to put me in his favor with this cycle..

@5pm the RE’s office called to advise me that on CD3 my lining was 8.3 but today it is 8.9 so it is of concern and will cause a possible cancellation to my sFET for October.  I was told to take Estrace for a week to help with lining and if no changes then the cycle will be cancelled until next month and they would do the Hysteroscopy.  This didn’t break our spirits though, we trust God and we accept all challenges, DH & I feel that if it is meant to be cancelled then so be it. I have asked God for his favor and we will stick to that.

On a much brighter note I may be in Viriginia this weekend with one of my bestie’s and plan to also go to Vegas in a few months with my other friends….So YAY for that… J

..

J.Lo's comment regarding IVF

Ranting
I use to be a FAN but now from reading her comment, she lost me. I know, I know it was a year ago but I had no idea until a recent conversation. I am EXTREMELY offended for 2 reasons...1. I have tremendous Faith in God my Father and 2. I am undergoing IVF to hopefully become pregnant.

People suffering from IF and seeking IVF can also be believers and have faith in GOD. Seeking medical treatment to help acheive your Goal does not show mistrust in God or even not having Faith.....it is the method in which to get to your ultimate GOAL.......having a baby, being fruitful, multiplying. If she believe that God is our father and he can move any moutain, then why would she not believe he guides the doctors? It never ceases to amaze me the stupidity of people....i respect the fact that she would prefer not to undergo IVF but  Her comment about not "messing with stuff like that." is hurtful to the rest of US that would. I can ALMOST guarantee that clomid took part in the birth of her twins.....you were 39.......hhmmmmm a time when eggs are almost but gone....who are you fooling? Seriously?......

Does she know how stupid that comment was?......Lets see if she had Cancer or any other illness that required treatment lets see if she wouldnt seek treatment because she has faith....and wouldnt mess with that stuff.... the nerve of some people...

Infertility is VERY real and very painful. I wish people can understand that it affects some people differently. i havent come across one woman that was doing it for vanity or for the heck of it.....we do because we feel we have to, we do it out of desperation, we do it hoping to start a family........somebody put a muzzle on jenny from the block the next time she makes silly comments

TGIF

It's friday, 1 week down and 4 more to go....I wish AF (Aunt Flow) would hurry and get here...
My emotions are all over the place...
One of my most favorite things to do is watch FAMILY GUY. Maybe its the crazy humor or maybe it is sometimes downright wrong but I truly love to sit down to my daily dose...
I had a total meltdown last night, Dh called to apologize today and I am sure he has no idea what for...
The waiting...is difficult...DAMN this wait....I still have 4 weeks to go....I feel like a caged animal ready to break free...
Growing up I cannot recall the millions of times I heard this from my parents, and teachers. They constantly drilled in my head that you must be patient and good things come to those who wait.While this much is sometimes true they never said what to do with the time in between...

Patience is a Virtue..... I never said I was always a vituous woman....

Why Isnt the time going?

I had a talk with someone from the RE's office yesterday regarding the steps to prep for my upcoming FET.

They recommend doing a Hysteroscopy and Light D&C which they find to increase implantation rates....this is tough because another RE said it is not necessary and not recommended and others say it is safe...What to do, what to do..

Part 2
So royally screwed by my Insurance...they just advised me they would cover a "portion" of the surgeries only if I pay $1500 out of pocket right now...coming right up you B$^%^$ds..Where pray tell would we get tgh

.
So my BFF is a little annoyed with me, true enough I have kind of secluded myself while going through this journey and have only told 1 person. Me and DH feel like this is out private thing and we dont want to have to explain the process or want the judegment comments that may come. We have this 1 chance at Free IVF with one snowbaby,,,,lots of pressure...
We both have faith and pray that God will trust us and let us have a healthy baby from this cycle.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

FERT REPORT

Uneventful Monday

After I wrote that Post on friday I got the call. The nurse said only 1 of my 2 snowbabies made it to blast and they froze it on Day 6. I was so sad from hearing that and a little bummed but after a while I became happy and grateful. God has given me the opportunity and that gift is waiting for me.

Over the weekend I basically did NOTHING, I lurked on forums and was looking at Maternity items...I know...I know...dont do this to yourself but  cannot help it. I am constantly thinking about the upcoming weeks and my sFET. I hope to use this down time productively....well hopefully... I want to excersise and loose 10 pounds, I plan to do the recommended Hysteroscopy Surgery once AF gets here, and I want me and DH (Dear Heart) to do a romantic getaway prior to ET.