Hindsight is 20/20

Hindsight is 20/20

Nothing new to report, absolutely nothing going on at all. I am just shooting the breeze and kicking rocks waiting for this to start, the anticipation is actually driving me nuts.

I am also having anxiety attacks about me starting a new job very recently ( 3 weeks) through this, DH was not really on board but it is much closer to home and it will come with new responsibilities, and here lies the issues for DH, rightly so by the way. I know, I know what the heck was I thinking or wasn’t thinking?

His concerns are valid and the top 2

• Point 1-Such as me being new and having to take time out for appointments.

Granted this is true BUT, I did state upon being hired that I had some pre-standing/ obligations and appointments that will take place Sept/October and I was told they are fine, now what happens as they start to play out is a whole other story.

• Point 2-In the event we are successful you will not have vested time in for FMLA.

Again he is right but he mentioned this part after I started…so if he had mentioned it prior I would have second guessed my decision so now yeah I am worried BUT let’s cross that bridge when we get there shall we.

 

This whole thing already makes me crazy so not in the mood to add another thing to the mix, whatever will be will be. I would HATE to loose this opportunity but would hate to NOT be a mother too, so being a mother wins. I can always find another job…

What's been up?

I have been quiet lately because it appears blogger hates me .....I just give up trying to post when its acting up.


Anyway on to more interesting things. I tested on friday (Doctors orders) to see if I was pregnant because you guessed it, still NO freaking AF. Well the nurse called me yesterday and of course NOT PREGNANT........gee what a shocker.

The good news according to my blood work, I will be ovulating soon and AF "should" be here soon and she did state the doctor is ready to cycle me. I am not sure how to feel...on one hand I am excited but on the next....where the hell is AF. All this happened AFTER me doing the lap in July and him saying he "fixed" a septate I didn't even know existed. I asked her what happens if in a week nothing and she said at that time I can take the Provera....again I still want to know where the hell is AF. For now I guess I will take their word for it and await the arrival and get this show on the road. I have my birth control pills here ready and waiting.

Let's see what else?............ I have been taking CO-Q1O Ubiquinol 100 mg twice a day ( 2 pills in the morning and 2 pills at lunch), so far the side effects for me is broken sleep but lots of energy during the day and I am very alert with work, no dragging feeling. On another note- I gained weight when I should have been loosing so 3 weeks ago I started couch to 5k to get my rotund butt in shape. So far I go running almost everyother morning on this plan, am down 5-6 pounds, I didn't want to obsess but I do feel better, some days I truly have to push myself but I know IVF will pack on some pounds so trying to get as much off as I can before the cycle starts. Hey a girl can only hope right..?

Good News & Bad News

Bad News-Aunt Flow is not here

Dear body,
You bitch, all I need from you is to cooperate so I can get on with cycling but alas you just need to be a selfish diva....what exactly is the hold up? Do u enjoy torturing us with what if thoughts....?
Genesis

Good News
We got accepted into the compassionate care program and our IVF meds will be covered 75%. YAY........truthfully I was aiming for 100% but I am thankful we got approved and will get some assistance. We are thrilled...so IVF to start soon√...IVF meds√...Period ?...who the hell knows perhaps she went on vacation, lovely.

I plan to post a tab with the compassionate care info later, this program is for self paying IVF patients to get some relief from the high cost of IVF meds. DH is not on board with provera but I certainly am..the sooner it comes, the sooner we cycle. Am I surprised?.....not really, I am convinced Infertility is torture and the unpredictable up and downs just some more hell.

Side Note-uuhhhmmmmmm my DH is completely in love with the idea of triplets or quads. While I am fond of reading stories of multiples and think it `may` be great, truth is HELL NO....that is all. :-)

Missing

AF (aunt flow) is missing....I am never "this" late....and nooooooooooooooo I am not pregnant, what I am is really concerned that this will delay us more. On monday I plan to contact the clinic and hopefully get prescribed provera to bring her on if she isn't here....this  is so frustating...:(

CD 38

It's cycle day 38 and aunt flow isnt here....naturally I am pissed.

Dear body,
This isn't damn funny bleed right freaking now.
Genesis

Thumbs Up & Meds

I have been trying to update this post for 4 days arrrgghhh, seriously considering wordpress. Also I cannot respond to comments but will as soon as I can to a kind message I recently received. :-)

Anyway using my tablet so ignore any and all typos and the errors :-)

My Dr's. Appt on 7/29 went well. YAY we cycle with my August period however July 's period isn't here yet motherfreaking great...and it's 8/1. If you have done IVF before you already know aunt flow does this all the time, never shows when she should but does when we don't want her. My cycles are 30-35 days in length and today is CD 35. I am excited but will not get a calender until my period starts, we still have no clue what meds will be used....I really want to know NOW, mainly because insurance does not cover meds, I want to price them out now, possibly get donated meds from the clinic or previous cyclers, and get unopened, unexpired meds from anyone willing to sell to me to keep cost low. I also will be submitting an application for free meds through the care program, the clinic gave me the info. At the end we will be smart and run everything by the doctor, we have an awesome nurse that is sympathetic to the costs associated. It's not that it was expected but a few posts prior I mentioned that with life even the best laid plans have HUGE bumps in the road. We have had to deal with some mindfields in the last few months...Anyway onward we go YAY.......

Dear body,
Please bleed today its CD 35 for goodness sake.

Thank you
Genesis